The internet can be a dangerous place, especially for children.
With the threat of exposure to pornography, violence, cyber bullying and predators, it’s no wonder parents are fearful of what their teens – and even younger kids – are getting up to online.
However, with the internet so ingrained in our daily lives it’s impossible to keep our children out of this virtual playground – so how do we keep them safe?
As the country’s eSafety Commissioner, Julie Inman Grant is responsible for promoting online safety for all Australians.
She tells Kids reporter Melissa Grant what parents can do to protect their children online.
How early should parents educate their children about cyber safety and what should the message be?
With our research showing 81% of parents have given their pre-schooler access to an internet-connect device, good digital habits should be encouraged from the get-go. It is never too early to get involved with your kids’ online lives or to start the chat about using the same positive manners and behaviours they would use offline.
The reality is that sometimes things go wrong online. But by having the chat before anything negative happens and letting them know they can come to you for help if they or a friend experience something they feel uncomfortable about, is one of the best ways to encourage open dialogue about what they might be experiencing online.
At eSafety, we know it can be tricky talking about sensitive issues in a way that doesn’t alarm children or give them more information than they need, so we’ve developed age-appropriate conversation starters to help parents take the plunge (www.esafety.gov.au/parents/skills-advice/hard-to-have-conversations). These will help you address some of the biggest concerns, including cyber bullying, sending or receiving intimate images, or coming across pornography online. We also have advice on where to go for professional support if children need further help.
How important is it for households to invest in filtering software? What are the best filters to keep children safe from offensive and illegal content?
While there really is no substitute for being actively engaged in your children’s online lives, technology tools can help.
Filtering technology is improving and over the past year we have seen a range of device level controls being launched on iPhones, iPads and Android devices. There are a range of filtering software products available on the market, which can be a helpful way to block sites known to host offensive material.
eSafety supports the operation of safety programs such as the Family Friendly Filter Scheme that allows Australians to inexpensively obtain protection from offensive and illegal content for their home network and family devices. These accredited filters have gone through rigorous independent testing to ensure they meet certain criteria including effectiveness, ease of use and configurability.
Parental controls on devices, gaming consoles or streaming services can be another way to block or limit your child’s access to certain content. Using safe search settings on search engines can also help limit your child’s access to inappropriate material.
While filtering and monitoring your child’s online activities can be effective at times, it can raise questions around knowledge and consent – but it will ultimately depend on what you feel is right for your family.
What is the best way for parents to monitor their child’s internet activities?
We encourage parents to use a range of protective strategies – which may include parental controls and filters – to monitor their child’s internet activities and minimise online risks. But be aware not to ‘set and forget’, as tech savvy kids can find ways to circumvent technological protections or may be accessing online content from a friend’s home or device.
Beyond these technological protections, there really is no substitute for active engagement in your children’s online lives. Speak to them about potential risks and help them develop good cyber judgement and resilience for when they do come across inappropriate content. Most importantly, let them know you’ll be there to support them if anything goes wrong online.
How safe are baby monitors that are hooked into Wi-Fi? Can they be hacked?
The truth is, Wi-Fi-connected baby monitors can be vulnerable to hackers for the same reasons other connected devices can: a lack of security, so be sure to check with the privacy, safety and security protections built into any product you chose.
Usually baby monitors have ‘default device security’, meaning you have no direct control over the password that secures your device. The availability of lists containing thousands of pre-installed passwords, which are sometimes the same for all devices from one manufacturer, can make baby monitors even more vulnerable to a hack.
Before purchasing a baby monitor, make sure you can change the device password. Check your home Wi-Fi network settings—update the default password (if you haven’t already) to something that is strong, hard to guess and memorable. It is also wise to change this password on a regular basis. If you use a smartphone to control the baby monitor, ensure the appropriate protections are in place and updates installed.
Statistics show one in five young Australians has been cyber bullied. What should parents do if they discover their child is a victim?
As parents, our first instinct may be to ban our children from social media, disable the Wi-Fi or turn off the data access. But it’s important to remember cyber bullying is a social and behavioural issue playing out in a technological sphere and not caused by technology itself. This is why we encourage parents and educators to focus on building positive behaviours and skills in young people, including developing the 4 Rs for the digital age: respect, responsibility, reasoning and resilience. These valuable social and emotional skills will not only help guide more positive experiences online, but also offline.
If you discover your child is being cyber bullied, there are four simple steps that can help minimise the harm: report the cyber bullying to the social media service where it is occurring; collect evidence of the cyber bullying material; if the material is not removed within 48 hours, make a report to eSafety; block the offending user.
Most importantly, remain calm, listen to your child without judgement, and let them know you will be there to support them through this.
Research also shows that one in four teens has been contacted by a stranger online. If this happens, what should a parent do? At what stage should authorities be contacted?
Young people need to be aware that not everyone they engage with online is who they say they are, and they may not always have the best intentions. Parents can play an important role in helping young people handle these risks and explore safely online by talking to them early and often.
Here’s some things you can do to help:
– Ensure your child’s social media accounts are not publicly available, help them with adjusting privacy settings and establish rules around what types of content they should share online.
– Encourage your child to delete contacts they don’t know or talk to from their friend or follower lists on social media.
– Encourage your child to delete friend or follow requests from people they don’t know. A good tip is to get them to check whether new requests share mutual friends. If they feel unsure about someone, encourage them to delete the request.
– Let your child know they can talk to you at any time if they receive any contact that is inappropriate or makes them feel uncomfortable – and there are steps you can take together.
– If your child receives any unwanted contact from someone they know or a stranger, encourage them to report and block this person on the site or service used to contact them. Our eSafety Guide has online safety information and direct reporting links for different apps, games and social media services.
– If the contact persists, or they feel they are in physical danger, contact your local police.
With the amount of pornography online, children are bound to be exposed to it. The topic of pornography can be awkward to talk about – how early should parents be raising it with their children?
Absolutely – when it comes to our kids being exposed to online pornography, unfortunately it’s not a matter of ‘if’ but ‘when’. Parents are right to be concerned about this issue, so they should be proactive and take steps to help minimise the risks of exposure and potential long-term impacts of online pornography.
Understandably, many parents report feeling embarrassed talking to their kids about porn. But these conversations are important because allowing children to think things like violent porn are normal can have harmful consequences for their wellbeing and future relationships.
It’s encouraging to see from our research that more parents want to take responsibility for this issue, but we know they need some help starting the ‘porn chat’, which is where those conversation starters at our website.
What are the most common negative experiences teens can have online?
Our research shows the most common negative online experience reported by young people is unwanted contact, experienced by one in three teens. One in four teens have also been socially excluded or had threats and abuse directed to them online. These kinds of negative experiences can potentially have devastating impacts on a young person affecting their emotional, psychological and physical wellbeing.
Reassuringly, our research also showed us that 66% of young people were able to reflect on their experience in a positive way and learn from their negative online encounters. And 40% became more aware of online risks, while 33% became more aware of who their real friends were, and 23% learnt to use the internet in a more balanced way.
What are the key things parents should be telling their teenagers about the online world to help keep them safe?
As parents and carers, we know our children better than anyone and have the best opportunity to support and guide them to have safer online experiences. The best way to help guide them on this journey is to be open, supportive and actively engaged in their online lives.
As teens develop their independence it can become harder for parents to enforce rules about their technology use. However, if these are introduced from a younger age, it can be easier to adapt and grow trust between you both.
Rather than telling, it’s more about doing. It’s not only important for parents to regularly engage with what they’re child is doing online and set age-appropriate rules, they also need to be modelling responsible behaviour in their own technology use. This can be as simple as asking your child’s permission before sharing a photo of them.
Respectful communication, responsible use of technology, the resilience to withstand harmful conduct or contact online, and the ability to reason and critically evaluate online content – these are the behaviours and skills that will help prepare young people for the range of different experiences they may encounter online.
