The sounds of parenthood

Peppa Pig is popular with young kids but the music may drive parents bonkers.

Opinion - Melissa Dorries

If there’s one thing that’s sure to send you bonkers as a parent, it’s kids TV.

The repetitive theme songs become etched in your brain. Before long, you’re singing along to repetitive children’s songs or desperately searching for the TV remote.

I’ll be the first to admit that TV can be a godsend when you’re a parent.

Turning on a show your kids really enjoy allows you to take a quick toilet break (kid free) or make a coffee.

But by the end of the day, enough is enough.

Somehow, without realising it, the kids YouTube channel has been background noise for hours.

Recently, I was chatting to a former work colleague about the incredible amount of children’s shows nowadays. When we were kids it was just the ABC!

It got me thinking – which kid shows are the worst and which ones are the best?

Here’s what I came up with…

THE WORST:

Peppa Pig: The cartoon about this bratty preschool pig has some of the most grating music going around. For starters, the intro ends with a big snort which kids just love to copy (lovely). The episodes also feature Peppa belting out repetitive tunes with her whiny voice (Peace and Harmony, Bing Bong, etc).

Baby Shark: It goes without saying that Baby Shark has to be one of the most annoying, repetitive children’s songs of all time. Baby shark, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo… just make it S.T.O.P. The number of versions of this song on YouTube Kids is incredible, which often means one clip will play after another.

Teletubbies: Say Eh-oh! It’s hard to believe a remix of the Teletubbies theme song sold over 1.3 million copies. Sorry, but every time I hear Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Laa-Laa and Po I say Uh-oh!

PJ Masks: While we are talking about terrible theme songs, it would be a crime not to mention PJ Masks. PJ Masks, we’re the PJ Masks. PJ Masks, we’re the PJ Masks. Yep, we get it.

Ryan’s World: Kids really do love pretend play, don’t they? I must admit I don’t enjoy participating in pretend play, but I’ll do it because it’s good for my child’s development. However, watching a show about pretend play is next level. Ryan’s World (formerly Ryan ToysReview) features the Kaji family who review toys and play with them. Kids clearly dig it – Ryan Kaji is the world’s highest-paid YouTuber. According to reports, the young boy made $30 million last year from his YouTube channel plus another $200 million for his branded toys. Unbelievable!

THE BEST:

Gummibär: “I’m a yummy, tummy, funny, lucky gummy bear”. This German international multilingual gummy bear character rocks! Seriously, the tunes from this guy could be played in nightclubs! Get onto the Gummy Bear Album.

Andy’s Baby Animals: Did someone say baby animals? Cute and educational! You’ll find this one on ABC Kids.

Bluey: How good is this Australian-made program? I seriously get excited when I see new episodes pop up on iView. For real life!