By Casey Neill
The IVF pathway to parenthood overcame the Copelands’ unexplained infertility, but created a further challenge they hadn’t expected.
Berwick couple Bethany and Stephen are expecting their third child on 7 August.
“Late July would be nice!” Beth laughed.
“I wanted four originally.
“I wanted to have my first at 28.”
But after four years battling unexplained infertility, they turned to IVF and conceived Elliana.
“We got 10 embryos,” Beth said.
“Technically there was nothing wrong with either of us in all the testing.
“Evan came about all by himself, 10 months after Elliana was born. So they’re 19 months apart.
“I thought ’I’ve got the girl and boy, I should be done, yeah? That was a bit nuts for a moment there’.
“But I couldn’t squash it.
“I think the fact I was trying so hard to talk myself out of having another one was a sign.”
They tried to conceive naturally.
“But I felt myself starting to get anxious again,” Beth said.
“We decided we may as well go back and do the embryo thing.”
They decided they’d try three transfers.
“If it didn’t work we were going to take it as a sign,” she said.
They were successful on their second attempt.
“I feel older this pregnancy,” Beth said.
“My body is getting sorer a lot faster than it did with the other two.
“It expanded faster. Everyone’s asking ’when are you due, the next couple of weeks?’.
“The bump is quite big and my back’s already sore.
“If this is a good baby and I forget that, then I wouldn’t be surprised if we have another one.
“I’m going to have to upgrade to the mum wagon, I may as well fill it.
“I’ve accepted the chaos.”
She’s not as scared about going from two to three as she was about one to two.
“I’m already outnumbered, so I’m just going to be more outnumbered,” she laughed.
“Each child you’re a slightly better parent, because you’ve got more experience.
“It’s going to be hard to keep up with them when I’m sleep deprived, but I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve.”
So doing the maths, the Copelands still have seven more embryos. What will become of them?
“It’s not a problem I ever thought I’d have,” Beth said.
“Should they have a chance at life?”
She said donating to science wasn’t an option at the moment.
“There’s a lot of ethics around it,” she said.
Then there’s disposal, or donation to a couple unable to conceive.
“I like researching things and trying to see both sides,” Beth said.
“America’s been doing this for longer and stuffed up more things than us.
“It’s like a warning – let’s not do it that way.
“There are people out there that were donor conceived that are pretty angry about the situation.
“A lot were lied to and found out as adults.
“Our clinic reckons they do anonymous only donations and you just have to donate to whoever’s next on the list.
“I’m totally not comfortable with that at all. I want to know about the people.
“Also, I want the option of having a more open donation.
“I don’t want to get involved with parenting. I reckon I could separate myself.
“But I do want the opportunity that if that person wants to know about their full genetic siblings that they could know them.”
The clinic will hold the frozen embryos for 10 years, so the Copelands have another four years to decide their fate.
“I’ve heard of people having them transferred at a time of the month when it’s impossible for them to stick. But what if it did?
“I’ve heard of people getting them made into jewellery.
“It’s a big issue. It’s not simple at all.”
