By Casey Neill
Having her own kids helped Melissa Leathem to truly value her childhood on a farm.
So much so, she and husband Brodie packed up their Upwey home and set up on the family property in Harkaway.
“My great grandparents and grandparents bought it when I was 18 months old,” Mel said.
“They bought the property with the intention of us all getting to grow up there.
“Hopefully they’re up there watching it.”
She has memories of her grandpa on a motorbike, a dog running alongside; of a pet donkey; and of directing cows to a new paddock using sticks, all with siblings Shaun and Rachael by her side.
“We would sit on the tractor or trailer, chop up wood for the fires,” she said.
“I didn’t realise how cool it was until now I’ve got my own kids.”
Asher was nine months old when we spoke, with Jack and Jordy aged 4 and 2.
Covid lockdowns and losing family members were the catalysts for the family’s return to the farm.
“We’d just finished renovating this beautiful house, put on a new deck,” Mel said.
“Just being stuck in the house and having to wear a mask just to go for a walk…there was all this space waiting for us 15 minutes away.
“It was a big decision.
“Going to Upwey it was exciting, getting some independence.
“But now I couldn’t leave here again.
“We’re so aware of how lucky we are, so grateful.”
Her parents were surprised by the move – and spurred into action. Plans to demolish an old farm house and build a new home were sped up, with construction now underway.
Mel said Brodie found adjusting to living rurally – and with his in-laws – quite easy.
“He likes going out and chopping wood, he likes having something to do,” she said.
“We have a separate driveway, we’ve got our privacy.”
She said watching her kids strengthen their bonds with her parents and Shaun was beautiful.
“The kids are so young, I feel like one’s always sleeping. If I have to get Jack to kinder, mum can come and sit with Asher,” she said.
“It’s tribal living, it’s how it’s supposed to be.”
The are animals all around, including five dogs.
“We’ve got a little poddy calf at the moment. Jack called it Annabelle, after his little friend at kinder. The mum had twins and she didn’t want to feed one, so we’re feeding her,” Mel said.
“The neighbours have horses and alpacas. The boys love to walk to the fences and see them.
“Once we’re settled with the house we’ll have a chook pen.”
It took Mel and Brodie about 18 months to fall pregnant with Jack.
She was gowned up for surgery to explore their infertility when she was told the operation couldn’t go ahead – she was pregnant.
“I was in shock,” she said.
“At that time I really wanted it and everyone was having babies and it was hard to watch – you’re happy for them but sad for you.”
Birthing Jack was also a struggle.
“I just thought ignorance was bliss and it wasn’t and it was awful,” Mel said.
She got induced using the balloon method, endured painful internal examinations throughout the process and tore her cervix during the delivery.
“I lost like 2.5 litres of blood,” she said.
“It was awful. I just remember lying on the bed shaking.
“I went straight off to theatre, had blood transfusions, iron infusions.
“I didn’t bond with Jack. I didn’t want to hold him, I think I was just traumatised.
“When I fell pregnant with Jordy I was like ‘I’m not doing that again’.”
Mel took a Calmbirth course focused on avoiding intervention, received acupuncture, saw a chiropractor and had the same midwife throughout her pregnancy.
“That was great, because when such a traumatic thing happened I felt like I was on my own,” she said.
Jordy’s labour was faster and her recovery was far better.
She had another positive experience with Asher after following the same path, plus exercises to help her baby into a good birthing position.
“It’s anatomy. Your pelvis is made for the baby to come through a certain way,” she said.
“But we’re so sedentary now, so I was really careful with my posture.
“It was all worth it.”
