The things you say as a parent

OPINION – MELISSA GRANT

As a parent you may feel like you are constantly repeating yourself.

I know I do! Since becoming a parent there are a number of phrases I have said over and over.

I’ve also noticed my mum friends use many of the same ones.

It got me thinking about how your vocabulary changes when you become a parent. I know I’m consistently using words and phrases I would have barely used BK (before kids).

Here are nine of my favourite phrases to use around my kids, aged two and four:

– Give mummy a minute. Sometimes as a parent you just need one darn minute (or a few) to do something without being interrupted. This includes going to the toilet (they always follow, don’t they), enjoying a hot coffee, getting dinner on, cleaning up mess, replying to a message, the list goes on.

– Stop! This is a phrase I’d say dozens of times a day. As a parent, it’s something you generally yell to prevent your child getting hurt. Your child could be about to run into something or break something, or your kids could be climbing the couch or practicing their world wrestling moves on one another.

– Squares or triangles? This is a daily question for many parents of preschoolers who have distinct preferences about how their sandwich is sliced. Just to make things more difficult, my four-year-old replies with ’both’.

– I’m watching you. If you said this a lot before you became a parent it would probably be creepy! But often as a parent you have no choice but to openly spy on your child because you just know they are about to do something naughty, such as whacking their younger sibling or stealing a toy from them.

– Come here please. This one is used in a few different scenarios – your kid could be about to bolt off, you may have noticed a booga on their face that needs removing or their pants might need pulling up.

– Watch out! Not only are parents spies, they are also psychics. They can predict when something bad is about to happen so will yell ‘watch out’ to prevent it from occurring. With an adventurous two-year-old, my favourite variation of this one is ‘watch your step’.

– Eat your dinner. Seriously, why do little kids just sit there and poke their dinner with a fork? For the millionth time just eat your dinner!

– No more Ryan! Before I had kids, I had no idea who Ryan was. If you have a preschooler you will no doubt know who this kid is because he has one of the highest earning YouTube channels. My daughter is so obsessed with Ryan’s World that I have to tell her to watch something else.

– Come on, let’s go! There’s nothing more annoying than your kids dilly-dallying when you’re finally ready to head out the door. Come on kids!

I can only imagine the sorts of phrases I’ll be repeating when my kids are teenagers! Turn your iPad off, get out of bed, etc. At least my vocabulary will expand!